About ‘Carpe Noctem’

Carpe Noctem is Latin for ‘seize the night’, inspired by the hope that Christians trapped in sexual addiction will turn from what is done in the dark, and that their loved ones are supported.

This is one of few places dedicated to the people who are affected by someone’s sexual addiction. Most websites focus instead on helping the people who are addicted. (And we’re thankful for them!) But here we take an honest and sober look, from a Christian viewpoint, at the effect of a loved one’s addiction in OUR lives.

The addiction might be that of our:
- spouse
- fiance
- boyfriend or girlfriend
- good friend
- parent
- sibling

One way or another it affects our relationships. This is one place you can find understanding and support.

This little drop in the bucket of cyberspace also represents a watershed moment in my life: Surviving my ex-boyfriend’s porn addiction.

When I needed advice and answers about the pain I was going through, I found websites for men who want to overcome a porn addiction, I found counseling services to help women in my situation, and I found a few websites here and there about helping women who work in the sex industry. But I didn’t find what I really needed–a community of women who understood my confusing and at times agonizing daily existence first-hand.

My hopes for this blog are:

• To encourage you on your journey toward healing, rebuilding self-esteem, and confidence in your beliefs about what a healthy relationship ought to look like.
• To help you to shake off the lies you may have been pressured to believe about femininity, trust, faithfulness, behaviors that are “normal” for Christian men, and what it truly means to be cherished.
• And, if at all possible, to encourage the return of integrity, purity, and healing to your relationship as well.

On this blog you’ll find the journal entries I wrote before, during, and shortly after the break-up with my ex, where I delve into the struggles I faced in my relationship with a porn-addict and what I learned from that experience. You’ll also find articles and resources on porn addiction and recovery (mostly for guys), in case your significant other is open to receiving help from other Christian men.