This entry was posted on March 4, 2011. It was filed under Humanitarian & Social Issues, Media, Hobbies & Entertainment, People, Culture & Society and was tagged with Depression, Divorce, Marriage, Men, Porn, porn addiction, Porn Industry, Porno, Pornography, Relationships, sex, sex addiction, Sex Industry, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Immorality, Sexuality, Women.

4 Responses

1. 

   John

   Sadly, men use porn as a masturbation aid becuase their wives have them on a starvation diet of sex once a week or less where the average man needs sexual relief about 3-4 times a week.

   Women if you don’t want your man viewing porn, then take better care of his sexual needs.

   blessings on you and yours
   John Wilder

   March 4, 2011 at 8:56 pm
   

   Reply
   • 

     widsith

     Thanks for your comment, John, but I’m afraid any relationship where spouses have carte blanche for unfaithfulness is going to be broken, toxic and incredibly painful. If a husband can so easily blame his choices on his wife, she can just as easily blame him for her own bad choices, and the dysfunctional relationship spirals out of control.

     A healthy marriage takes commitment through thick and thin, maturity, a willingness to communicate, and enough character so each spouse is willing to take responsibility for his/her own actions.

     Meanwhile, humility helps spouses admit when they’ve done wrong, honouring and cherishing the spouse means caring when the other person has been hurt by our actions, and sincere selfless love motivates us to work with our spouse to make the relationship better day by day.

     That’s the only way it works if each person wants to be valued and heard and loved unconditionally.

     March 4, 2011 at 10:54 pm
     

     Reply
2. 

   John

   Hey Widsmith
   I did not say that spouses have carte blanche for infidelity, nor do I think viewing porn as being unfaithful.

   If the wife is loving the husband unconditioally then she will be taking care of his sexual needs. I can’t say that I agree completely with your views as I understand them.

   Blessings on you and yours
   John Wilder

   March 5, 2011 at 6:48 pm
   

   Reply
   • 

     widsith

     Yes, I see that you consider pornography to be a legitimate activity for married folks, whereas I’m coming at this from a faith perspective, specifically the Christian perspective. Jesus said that lusting in one’s heart was the same as adultery:

     “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

     Carpe Noctem speaks to readers who also hold Scripture as the basis for their beliefs and values. Given that we differ on the authority on which our views are based, we will not agree on the issue of pornography being a matter of unfaithfulness.

     Even from a non-faith perspective, however, I believe it is only fair, in your scenario, to apply unconditional love to both partners in the marriage. The wife, if she is able and loves her husband selflessly, will do whatever she can to meet her husband’s needs. Meanwhile, the husband who truly loves his wife would also not do anything that hurts his wife but would choose actions that communicate his love and commitment to her.

     Thanks for reading my blog and for the dialogue.

     March 5, 2011 at 7:56 pm
     

     Reply